Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a collection of behaviors where one parent turns a child against the other parent. So when one parent deprives their child of a healthy relationship with the other parent, the child may experience chronic psychological distress leading to the deterioration of the parental relationship. Since distress can affect physical health, health care professionals must not overlook the possibility that the child has been subjected to abuse by the custodial parent.

The Details

Blocking or Inhibiting contact with the children – The custodial parent discourages and blocks the child’s contact with the other parent. The most heinous word in family law is ‘visitation’. With this word, the non custodial parent and his (or her) children become mutual guests under the oversight of the custodial parent and the courts. Only a parent can imbue certain intangible qualities to the children. That is why children benefit most when their parents work and act together, rather than two biological parents in conflict acting separately. This is the well-known phenomenon of synergism where the sum of the efforts of persons working together is greater than the sum of each person working alone. Some people call this teamwork but it is really a result of synergism.

Berating the other parent in the presence of children – Comments such as, ‘your mother is no-good’ or ‘your father has abandoned us’ are degrading to the child who respect the parent. What the controlling parent is saying to the child is that their feelings toward the other parent are wrong. The controlling parent’s intent is to berate and change the child’s view of the other parent. This conflict between the controlling parent’s demands and what the child knows and believes can lead to later conflicts in the child’s life.

Threatening children with withdrawal of home, love, and support – “My way or the highway.” That says it all. What the controlling parent is saying is that the child must think the way I do, believe as I do, and feel as I do or else! The ‘else’ word is a threat.

Teaching or forcing the child to fear or reject the other parent – The most prevalent tactic is coercion. Through repetition, the controlling parent relates false accounts of abuse by the other parent. When repeated, this deception can become accepted fact that replaces the child’s own true experiences – my way or no way. This tactic is not acceptable. A similar tactic is that the instigator tells a child that they cannot have contact with the innocent parent unless the child admits that he or she abused them. This is a guaranteed losing strategy for the child and the innocent parents. So when the child is forced to admit that abuse occurred, the child cannot have contact with their estranged parent.